Sunday, March 11, 2007
~ Life is not so smooth sailing ~
9:23:00 pm
There would come a time in everyone's life when it seems that everything is going perfect for you, just the way you want it to be... But out of a sudden, everything just crumbles right in front of your eyes... And despite you being there, you are just as helpless...
No, it's not happening to me, not yet and hopefully not... Although I thought that it nearly happened...
Just as I thought when I had all the things that I had wished for... But as we all know, nothing is perfect in life... No wonder people say, life is like a wheel... There are times when we're on top, but there are also times when we are at the extreme bottom...
Honestly, I just feel burnt out from everything... Work, school, relationship and health... Yes, my health is included too...
Work as usual, has been physically tiring and mentally challenging... But with the introduction of my studies into the picture, everything seems more jumbled and messed up... Sometimes, I don't perform well at work and given that my working place (read: my ward) has extremely high expectations from their staffs, whatever we do, nothing looks fine in their eyes... *Sigh*...
I've probably underestimate the route to a degree... No doubt I was elated when I was accepted for the Bachelor of Health Science (Nursing) in SIM, but it's nothing like my polytechnic days... Back then, we were still being spoonfed... After all, it's the route for us in becoming a nurse... But when it comes to a Bachelor, it's teaching us not to be a nurse... Therefore, we had to be more independent this time... This is the way to a degree...
Relationship... Because of my work and studies, I have lesser time to spend with my special someone... Maybe what he predicted is true... And what I gave back then were just empty promises that I couldn't fulfil now... If I am already struggling with my work and studies, what more a relationship...
I know that things haven't been going well between the both of us... We have lesser communication, lesser dates... And now, our relationship has been pretty much shaky... I know that he has been sacrificing a lot of his time, picking me up from school or work, enduring my forever swinging mood... I have been very harsh at times but I know that he is not at fault... And I know that he is very tired of all of this and I'm not making it any better... *Sigh*...
My health is no better... My giddiness is still there and it still attacks me when I least expect it... Like the other day at work... I just got so giddy but thankfully, I didn't pass out... And people have been commenting that I look very pale... Maybe I need to go for a medical checkup...
I guess that I'm at the bottom of the wheel of life now...
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
